I am walking through the streets of my school…
It’s a beautiful Monday afternoon…
For some unknown reason I keep finding reasons to be happy…
And honestly I have no reason not to be…
But somehow life makes us so focus on the minor things that don’t seem to be going right(or going our way).
We tend to overshadow the bigger and greater things happening in our lives
So I am walking through the streets of my school on a Monday afternoon,
I look down at my feet, on my left is a beautiful lawn of grass. Covered with radiant yellow leaves. So beautifully layered out. I can’t imagine how nature can be so imperfectly beautiful without even trying and I pause to absorb the underrated canvas that is the leaves that have fallen all over the green grass. I can’t understand how such beauty can go unnoticed and unappreciated.
It’s raining and I feel soft drizzles on my shoulder and they make me nostalgic. I get some sense of belonging. For some unknown reason the rain makes me think of home. Perhaps it’s all the rainy days I spent seated by a window staring out as the rain poured heavy. I could listen and make rhythm of the rain as it poured swiftly through the drains. It seemed to calm me down. I often wonder what home is like now. And in that I find more reason to be happy as I remember how my brothers almost always ruined those peaceful rainy days for me. And then I think about how grown they must be. How naughty they must be right now. It makes me giggle. I think of my littlest brother. He was only 2 when I left. Does he remember me? I talk to him on the phone year after year and I notice how many words he can now say. It warms my heart. Last time I saw him all he could say was DaDa. This thought makes me smile n tear up at all the big moments am missing. Like the first day of school. All I got was a picture. He looked so cute in his tiny uniform.
So many scattered memories, can’t seem to remember them all in chronological order but somehow their grip on me has somehow left me with wonder.
Yes the drizzles on my shoulder are a touch of happiness and joy but almost like a bittersweet.
I continue to walk down the streets of my school on a Monday afternoon.
I see a man on the other side of the road, raking leaves in his grey uniform and what seems to be his comfort shoes. He has this face I can not understand. He seems to have a lot on his mind. I look at him and wonder, what is he battling on the inside. Does he see the very leaves I see as beauty on the ground as a burden and a source of displease? Or, like me, is he focusing on the minor things not going right like the rain falling and making the leaves sticky, or the strong wind blowing them in the opposite direction? We really all are just fighting different battles on the inside that no one really knows about.
I see a tree surrounded by Little tiny boxes. I stop to wonder, why are the little boxes there? But I am struck by how beautiful they look around the tree mildly covered by a few fallen leaves. And that too makes me happy for an unknown reason.
How I wish I could live every moment of my days like this. But somehow I am sucked back into this black hole of worry, anger and confusion I have created for myself.